Day #4 – He Is Coming by Amber Averay
‘He sees you when you’re sleeping.’
If that’s not the creepiest thing you’ve ever heard, then there is something seriously wrong with you. Makes me think of someone peeping through your window while you’re undressing, or hiding in your wardrobe and waiting for slumber to claim you before he just watches you – all night. Gross.
Basically just the entire song is a study in ominous warning. ‘You’d better watch out’ – self-explanatory, isn’t it? If that’s not a threat, I don’t know what is.
‘You better not cry; you better not pout.’ Ok, right there you have flat-out intimidation. Like you’re being told, I’m warning you – make one sound, pull one sad face and you’re in TROUBLE.
‘He knows when you’re awake.’ Right, because he’s been peering through your window all night, or spying from the secrecy of your wardrobe! Of course he knows when you’re awake. This so-called uplifting Christmas Carol is basically a love song from a perverted degenerate to the unfortunate object of his affections.
‘He knows if you’ve been bad or good – so be good for goodness’ sake!’ It sounds like a desperate plea from a distressed parent who knows something horrific is on the horizon, because the filthy reprobate hiding behind your curtains has plans and mother dear knows it. Please, my darling, behave, behave as best you can – better, even – because he’s watching. He’s always watching.
And please don’t try to convince me that manipulating a child to comport themselves to the best of their abilities by cautioning, ‘Santa can see you right now!’ is anything but emotional distortion. I get wanting your kids to be well-behaved, but honestly? If the promise of presents isn’t at the forefront of every child’s mind at this time of year, such advisement could seriously be classed as mental abuse.
And of course, that old tried-and-true attempt at excitement on Christmas Eve – better get to bed early, he’s coming! Damn, if that’s not saying to the kid hurry to bed so some creepy fat guy can spy on your sleeping form before breaking in and eating whatever food isn’t packed away. It’s enough to give you nightmares. Hell, it does for me and I’m not a child…
Though if I was, I’d be forever on the naughty list because no chunky dude would dictate my behaviour!
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